I’m not one for ‘burying the lede’ so here you go…
The reason you are not succeeding at something is because you haven’t developed the ‘Core Competencies’ for that task, relationship or development of a business idea. Of course there are market forces that determine outcomes – and risks we take are sometimes faced head-on with a loss of some degree. Rest assured, there is something you can do about it… And it has NOTHING to do with dealing with fear.
You’re in Luck 🙂
For a very long time motivational/inspirational speakers, mentors and gurus have sold their messages on fear.
The idea that FEAR is the barrier to success is nonsense. We all have fears in life; in relationships; in business… But this is NOT the reason for coming up short in any area of life. From my perspective, coming up short is a result of one thing – this one thing can be trained, in fact it is why you are proficient and excel at some things and not others.
The Answer (Short and Sweet)
Lack of COMPETENCE is in the way of your success. You see, Competence = Confidence. You will jump into the ‘deep end of the pool’ if you know you can swim. If you can’t swim in a particular are of life it may seem fear is a component of not acting or, of course, procrastination. Fear is not the point, though some marketing messages push on this sensitivity.
The point is simply that you have not yet developed the core competencies to push forward in that area of life or business.
Look at the things – parts of life and business – at which you excel. These are areas where you have the competence. Business, family, friends.
Are They Making Money?
Ultimately, the question is whether or not the person selling you advice or a system is making money by selling you – or have they made any money doing what they’re telling you to do?
When you become competent at something, you are immediately in demand to perform – and this is where either the fun or pain begins… There is a certain responsibility that comes with developing competencies – you are going to have to perform, people are going to ask for your help, and so on.
This might be a stretch so hang in there with me…
When these motivational/inspirational speakers, mentors and gurus convince you they have the answer and essentially ‘capture’ that ‘not strong’ part of you, they have you and people spend thousands of dollars to follow their lead. The process results in at some level putting them on a pedestal – you become very protective of their ways, whether you’re winning or not, no matter the finance and time expense (cost).
The processes of this world can be intoxicating as well and sometimes folks are captured by the messages, and whether the message is for them or not, their is a family aspect to this personal development universe.
What To Do?
Eric Hoffer, in his book “True Believers” says (paraphrasing) Susceptibility is a powerful condition of man – perhaps a dangerous condition.
I suggest one be circumspect about what exactly is being promised – and that word, promise, is something the gurus generally run from. As an inventor I make only one promise to my prospective consulting clients. And it’s not that they will make money.
So, what to do? Read, go to seminars if the feeling or sales pitch strikes you, build core competencies in your chosen field and do not, under any circumstances put all your interest eggs in one basket. Do not spend thousands of dollars on a followup (up-sell) at the back of the room. If you do, do not expect the results of the sales pitch… You and you alone are responsible for the p[eople you meet – the relationships you develop… And the ONLY real evidence that you have ‘made it’ are your products.
A (some might say) wise man said, years ago, “You only know someone by their products.”
Success is realized through Achievement – not association.
Having said that – you will need to know people. SO, start getting to know people. And it better NOT cost you a few thousand dollars at a seminar or mastermind to meet those people – if it does, you’ve been had… 🙁
My Thoughts On The Hoffer Concept Above
Susceptibility to those up stream of you, and LOOKING down at those DOWNSTREAM of you, is a BAD conditioning perspective and teaching tool.
I know because I teach and lecture to state and Federal prisoners. These are potentially the most Susceptible folks as a population. I would never do that – would you?
All the Best, Scott
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